The Company Manager: Vol. 2
Oh man, what have I gotten myself into??
I left off with the company manager girl’s invitation for me to dogsit for her while she’s out of town. We’d only known each other about a week at this point, so I was skeptical (to say the least) that this would be the casual sexual acquaintance I was hoping for.
Eve suggested I was being paranoid in thinking that this girl might be clingy, even though she so quickly asked for a domesticated favor like dogsitting. So I agreed. She’s tall and blonde, after all…
I show up at her place yesterday morning to meet the dog, get the house keys, etc. She shows me around her place. She seems anxious, talks really fast. In addition to being a company manager, she’s an artist, and uses her apartment as a studio. Now when I say “uses her apartment as a studio” what I really mean is “her apartment IS her fucking studio” because the place is littered with these odd, abstract installation art pieces (odd=three scattered puzzle pieces on a pedestal…and no, that’s the finished project).
It becomes very clear very quickly that this girl never leaves the house, completing the mystery of why someone so gorgeous hasn’t had sex in a while, and why she was acting so nervous around me.
We finish the tour, the dog and I get along fine, and we’re standing in the kitchen making small talk. She’s repeating herself a lot, and I can tell she’s breathing fast. We’re standing close, as it’s a small kitchen, and she’s shifting from side to side, talking about where the dog food is or something like that.
So I kiss her. It was kind of abrupt, but it needed to happen, right? It’s lingering in the air, waiting to happen, and if I don’t do it at that moment then who knows how long I’m going to have to stand there hearing about exactly when I’m supposed to give the dog his pills in the morning (as if I’m even listening).
SO THEN SHE GOES NUTS. Ten seconds of kissing and she’s sitting on the counter, legs around me, ripping off my clothes. She’s kissing really fast, really hard, and she’s very loud. It was like popping open a can of Pepsi after it’d sat in a paint shaker. Ten more seconds, and her hand is down my pants, she slams my face into her neck.
Then BOOM, like a snap, she pulls back. “Are you seeing anyone?”
UH-OH!!!!
Me: “Umm…no, I’m not. But I’m not really looking to.”
“So…this would be, like…just unrestrained, awesome sex?”
Me: “Well…”
She goes back to kissing me (I say kissing, I mean the tongue-jabbing that Eve described), and it gets even more heated, then she pulls back again and says she needs to think about whether she can handle a friends-with-benefits type situation (rule of thumb: if she has to think about it, it means she can’t). And then I leave, her house-keys and the responsibility of taking care of her dog in my hands.
Now I get to look forward to living in the lair of this crazy sex-starved hermit woman for a weekend, and I’m probably not going to get any sex out of it (as if I’d even want that at this point, right?).
HEY EVE: YOUR GENDER SUCKS AND YOU’RE ALL CRAZY.
